This morning I had to continue an argument with a total stranger on whether or not marriage favor women under a Facebook post a mutual friend wrote. So this stranger went on and called me ignorant because he came with the statistics to prove his hypothesis and i yeah, i admitted to being ignorant because to be honest, i have not read anything to support my stance on the issue.
Does marriage favor women?
First of all, this is Ghana a part of Africa that still strongly believes in clearly defining the roles of men and women in marriage. The man is the head, the woman is the tail or is it neck, i have always had a problem with this arrangement but then again, this is Ghana.
Right from birth females are groomed for marriage everything that is said and done during and after pregnancy of a baby girl is to assuage, “when you get married, when you move to your husband’s house, when you have children”, everybody just assumes you want all these because you are woman. And the moment you assert yourself as a female who doesn’t want that, then it just moves on to another problem, “you are a feminist or you a lesbian”. There is no winning in the game of what women really do want in the long run, do they want partners or not children or not.
The bases of the stranger’s argument was that men age like wine women also age like milk so in essence a man gets more attractive as he ages and a woman just loses the essence that makes her female. His argument, men don’t age, women do and along with their sexual virility. So marriage favors women because they tie men down with it in their very last stages of womanhood, when they had, had enough of having casual sex and meaningless relationships.
Once again the role of women in a situation has been reduced to a sexual banter where she is being measured in terms of her sexual virility and activeness. As if that is not enough, this same woman is being told that practically her only resolution in life is marriage because apparently any man will be doing her a huge favor by marrying her.
8 women out of 10 never remarry after the death of their husband with or without children but 8 out of 10 men will definitely remarry after the demise of a wife, you know why? Because who is going to take care of the kids? who is going to take care of the “man’s need”? its a never ending rounds of a man’s needs and who to satisfy them.
Marriage is suppose to be a partnership between two people who agrees to be together, it’s not suppose to favor one gender over the other it only does that when you live in a society where they tend to have clearly defined roles for men, and a women. Until we wake up one day and decide to blur the lines between this unnecessary gender feud that has been fueled over the years, every issue on board will be turned into a male against female agenda, till there is nothing more left to say.
Marriage favors the loved and happy.