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STACY M. AMEWOYI Writes: What Defines Your Life?

Life

Life is the quality which people, animals, and plants have when they are not dead. Human’s life is the highest expression of nature. It is the stage of evolution where ‘nature’ can think about its thoughts, qualities, feelings and characteristics.

It is called self-reflective thinking. You do not only think, but you can also think about or evaluate your thoughts. This capability is uniquely human not shared by other species.

This capacity allows us, humans, to make moral and spiritual progress by eliminating thoughts and behaviours that hurt ourselves and others. We can even get rid of our negative thoughts and feelings by reflecting upon their root causes, realizing the futility of negativity, becoming aware that the past cannot be undone, reading and learning from the wisdom literature, and so on.

The human being, if he advances sufficiently mentally, emotionally and spiritually, then he can even attain Self-realization. Transcending all the illusions of limitations, and realizing the supremely pure consciousness or God or one’s immortal Soul nature is the ultimate purpose of human life.

Nature is unable to help us beyond providing with a fully equipped body-mind for this ultimate purpose. We have to attain this supreme goal with our intelligent efforts.

Success defines what we have accomplished and that can be different for everybody. It matters if it is what we truly aspire to attain. What defines us can be anything worthy of the pursuit and the acquisition of it. For example, some of the greatest people I have been blessed to know were those who lived a life of quiet grace. In that, they put others first. They saw others rather than needing to be seen.

They heard others rather than needing to be heard, they loved rather than needing to be loved, their hands were extended in giving and not getting and their arms were extended ready to embrace any who needed to be held.

I knew two women who had these characteristics. I viewed them as heroic and honourable. I understood them as my mentors and examples. They seemed to suffer in silence, and yet, as they became more defined in their lives, it became apparent they did not suffer.

Instead, they had developed great peace within themselves and had a quiet sense of joy that emanated from their eyes and hearts. They knew that it was in being loving that they experienced the greatest sense of love as it was returned tenfold to them by everyone who knew them.

As stated earlier, I know of only two women who were selfless and disciplined in the act that, they earned tenfold their effort. My point is this, how many more people are like they are among the people we deal with in our daily lives?

People make life sweet and bitter at the same time in our dealings with them day in and out. Someone who made life so beautiful for you can also turn out to be the same person who makes it suck. Your very self, promised to be the pillar the family member, spouse or friend could lean on, but after you gained their trust, you bolted on them; you have shattered dreams and brought people’s lives to an end.

Such is life. It can’t be enjoyed throughout in happiness or disdain. It carries a part of this, and a part of that and the perfect carriers of this happiness or disdain is human beings. Human beings make life enjoyable and sad at the same time. At a point, you could think life is unfair, but that is what makes life, it is like you and me to make it a better place.

So back to the question; what defines your life? Is it the pain caused by others or the goodness of people? Do you seek to make other people’s lives better or you are the payback type? Or the careless type, whether treated right or wrong, you still live life?

Pain changes people, it makes them trust less, overthink more or shut them out. Whereas happiness brings the joy we all seek to achieve by the end of the day. Don’t allow pain to have its way in you so much that, you zip yourself of your joy.

You have to let people go, everyone who is in your life, are meant to be in your journey but not all of them are meant to stay till the end. People come in different colours but as some blacken others brighten. Though the pain may cause so much damage, disallow it from taking centre stage of your life. Focus on those that brighten you up and move on. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.

You were never created to be depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You are victorious. Seek to be the best, not arrogantly or in a crooked manner, but what refreshes your soul. Worry about your character and reputation. Your character is who you are as an individual while your reputation is what people think about you. These are two different things that need hard work for their accomplishment.

Focusing more on the negativities in life, disrupt your beautiful character, and your character informs your reputation. You can’t have a good character and be seen as a bad person. Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows.

A path can take many roads to the destination it seeks but destinations are as numerous as people are. So, what speaks to you the loudest? Love and our ability to give and receive it without any thought of it coming back is a fine way to walk the path of life.

What else but love can muster a light strong enough to guide us to a life of peace. I remember reading somewhere stating that “however someone dies, they will be identified by their title”, or something to that effect.

Example; ‘Mother of 8 children drowns in a swimming pool. Or, Dr Sereboor dies of a heart attack’. That’s one portion of society I noticed that lends to define a person at least when they die. As for when they were living, I think that is really for them to decide; its life after, all, you decide to make the headlines when death approaches or make your life count as you live.

Twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic and when asked what happened he said: “I watched my father”. The other grew up and never drank in his life. When he was asked what happened he said: “I watched my father”. Two boys, same dad, two different perspectives.

Be who you want to be positive, don’t be guided by bad experiences and live the fullness of life in half. Learn to forgive and love, choose your friends wisely and strive to always put smiles on the faces of others.

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